If i can sort it out with ihit i will give 5g to the best joke, Of my gold so there should be no reason he wont allow it

all mine are inapropriate

ShOcKwAvE,
not surprised..

ShOcKwAvEall mine are inapropriate
(quoted wrong person)


ShOcKwAvE jokes are so dirty that you have to throw them in mud just to clean them up some.
ShOcKwAvE jokes are so dirty that just one fills a landfill
ShOcKwAvE jokes are so dirty that it is stored with toxic waste to clean the enviroment' the toxic radiation dilutes the bad humor!
ShOcKwAvE jokes are so dirty...

Asked kiddo for a joke....
Knock, knock..... Who's there?..... Boo!..... Boo Who? ......

Don't cry, it's only a joke ">

Storm Kat,
That was terrible.

Why did tiger look in the toilet?

To find pooh💩

Two chemists walk into a bar that caters to chemists. The first chemist orders an H2O from the bartender, The second chemist says "I'll have an H2O too". He died.

Let's eat, Grandma!
Let's eat Grandma!
PUNCTUATION CAN SAVE LIVES

BoomShizzle,
Hydrogen peroxide huh? Heard that one before :P

Ok, here's my joke.. (Well I have 2, lol)
1. Well this happened to me in real life... One time when I was 4-6 yrs old our laptop suddenly turned off..
Everyone thought it was a virus..
My father was about to take it to the repair shop...
I examined it and saw that it wasn't plugged in.
No one noticed that. -_-
I was treated as a hero xD
2. A Frenchman, an American and a Canadian guy were walking across a bridge.
The Frenchman took a bottle of wine suddenly and threw it into the river.
When asked why, he said that there were too much wine in his country,
The American thought for a while, took some cigars and threw them into the river.
When asked why, he had the same response.
The Canadian thought for 5 minutes, took the Frenchman and threw him into the river..
When asked why, he said... "same logic as you.. Too many Frenchmen in out country, so he's in the river now!"
3. Found this on 9gag- Google "Bhutanese passport audio" and look at the video, lol!! His accent is the weirdest thing that you'll ever see, lol!!

Well the first and third one arent a joke but they are pretty funny.. :P

I will just quote podolski (german soccer player):
football is like chess, only without the dice

pearlsI will just quote podolski (german soccer player):
football is like chess, only without the dice

he really said that

Doctor: “Nurse, how is that little boy doing, the one who swallowed ten quarters?”
Nurse: “No change yet.”

pearls,
Wait, seriously? Lol!

Nurse Ratched,
... Lol? :P

One day a kid was sitting at home waiting for his relatives to come over. He overheard his parents fighting with each other yelling "YOU B**CH" "YOU B****ARD".

Being so young, the kid had never heard those words before and asked his parents what they meant. They replied by saying "B**ch means lady and b***ard means gentlemen". Satisfied with this answer the boy went to his room.
Then he heard the neighbours having sex. They were repeating the words "D**K and "C**T" over and over and over. Again, the boy was curious and asked his parents what those words meant. Thinking fast, his mother said "D*ck means coat and c*nt means jackets."

Once again the boy was satisfied with the answer and headed to the bathroom, but his father was shaving and the boy had to wait. Fearing that the boy might wet himself, the father shaved faster. He went a little to quick and ended up cutting himself, "S**T!!!!!" he yelled. "What's sh*t mean daddy," the boy asked . The father, stuck for an answer said, "it means shaving cream."
The boy did his "business" and his dad went back to shaving. His next stop was the kitchen, there he saw his mother preparing the turkey. As she reached for a knife she ended up cutting herself. "AW F**K!!", she yelled. "What's f*ck mean mommy", the boy asked. "It means stuffing the turkey."
Finally, the guest arrived, the boy went to the door and said, "Hello b*tches and bastards, may I take your dicks and cunts? Dad's in the bathroom putting shit on his face and Mom is in the kitchen f*cking the turkey!

An Irishman sits down in his pub and orders three pints of Guinness. He takes turns drinking one sip from each of them until they're finished.
The bar tender asks him "Jimmy, why didn't you just order one pint at a time?"
"Well, you know that my brother Shaun just moved to Canada and my brother Pat just moved to Australia. So before they left, we agreed to do this in honor of each other until they come back."
So this goes on for several months, the story gets around and Jimmy's tradition becomes part of the local color.
One night Jimmy comes in and only orders two pints. Everyone gasps and runs up to the bar to find out which brother had died and offer their condolences.
So Jimmy says " Oh, don't worry, my brothers are fine. I just quit drinking."

A guy goes to his eye doctor for an examination.
They start talking as the doctor is examining his eyes.
In the middle of their conversation, the doctor casually says, "You need to stop masturbating."
The guy replies, "Why Doc? Am I going blind?"
The doctor says, "No, but you're upsetting the other patients in the waiting room."

*snortgiggles*

A woman is walking along a beach when she sees a man furiously splashing in the ocean

"HELP, SHARK, HELP"

The woman laughs because she knows the shark will never help that man

A horse walks into a bar and orders a drink. The bartender looks at him and asks, "why the long face?"

Who won