There was once this little boy named Shade, he was born pretty thick, a normal baby is about 3-10 pounds, but Shade was born at 26 pounds. He grew up eating twinkies & kit kats like nothing.

At the age of 10, he was 180 pounds, thats pretty fat, no offense to fat people (Shoutout to the chubbys), but shade didn't care, he never cared. He ate and ate and ate...
Nobody ever liked him because he was fat. He was really bad at sports, and did weird things in class. For example in science class, when he was mixing some chemicals, he farted in it being the weird little boy he is, and caused an explosion. If you think thats weird...well, he does something like that everyday. Boys wouldn't talk to him, and the ladies wouldn't either. He didn't care, except for one lady, he always peed his pants when he saw her, and gazes in lust everytime he sees her. This magical lady goes by the name of EllieJay.

Shade was never really a ladies man, like me. (Shoutout to mahself!) Anyhow, he's had a crush on EllieJay, even though she wasn't his age at all, he still thought he would grow up and marry her. He always fantasied having heheheheheehehe with her, and making sexy babies. But he kept his crush secret. Did he ever write it down you ask? Well, he did, he wrote it in his diary, you would think diarys are only for girls, but he doesn't understand much of anything yet.

So enough about his crush for now, shade was really bad at sports. Everytime in gym they played dodgeball, he would get hit and receive multiple bruises, mostly around the face and on his stomach. Everytime they played kickball, he would kick, miss, and then fall. Everyone would laugh at him, and he'd run away and cry. Speaking of gym, when it's time for it, little boy shade always tries to play, props for atleast attemping, but it usually hurts his team more when he tries.
Right after gym, little boy shade was at his locker looking in the mirror at his bruise on his left cheek he got in dodgeball, when all of a sudden the fire alarm goes off. He runs outside just in case, and he's the only one out there. He tries going back in, and it's locked, some boys on the inside pranked him. He thinks it's time for him to change, he doesn't wanna be pushed around anymore.

Since he's outside the school already, he decides to go home. He thinks if he shows the school his talents, he'll be one of the cool kids. And his chance hits, art and soul is tomorrow (where you perform your talents in front of the school). He writes a poem for his love, EllieJay.
The next day, when it's time for him to perform to go up, and his poem goes like this..
Elliejay..
I make statues of you out of clay..
I admire them all the time
You're worth a million, and i'm worth a dime..
I'd do anything to marry you
I just want you to say 'I do'
Your eyes glimmer and my heart cries
I love you more than chicken fries
You'll be my sun
And i'll be your shade
I hope our love will never faaade...

His poem went viral. It was on youtube, and every streaming site out there. Ellie even saw it, and she went to shades school. She announced on the mic, "Shade, I don't like you, I never will, you're a newb, you're annoying, you're ugly and you smell. Don't ever talk, look, think, listen, glance, or do anything that relates to me, get out of my life dork". Shade started crying, ran home, and dropped from school.
He was scarred for life, and never liked any lady ever again.